Other people’s opinions on your life

Other people’s opinions on your life

The people who are most close to me would say I’m not very good at expressing my feelings which maybe in some part is true. I don’t really like to talk about myself and most of the time I’m happier discussing others, which is why I’m not very expressive at times.

But that’s not the point. The point is, a big reason why I don’t talk much about my feelings or “open up” about my personal life, is because I don’t want the person’s opinion that I’m talking to.

I don’t want to hear their opinion on what I’m doing, what is going on in my life, what they think I should be doing, etc.

Now I can hear you thinking, “Just don’t listen to their opinions, it only matters what your opinion is of yourself!”

Do you know hard it is to ignore the opinion of someone who you care about a lot or who you are super close to? It’s almost impossible. Sure, some person that I don’t know or don’t care about, it is super easy to blow them off. But a family member or a best friend? I can’t just blow their opinions off, because their opinions actually matter to me. Which is why I may seem so closed off at times.

I’m terrified of opening myself up to other people’s opinions and hearing them judge, critique, and scrutinize my life, my decisions, and my choices. I don’t want to feel like I am letting any of my close family and friends down, and that’s all I feel like I’ve been doing. What I have been doing is what is best for me, and it just feels like no one else sees that. Instead, they see what I’m doing as different, and something I shouldn’t be doing because it’s not “normal”.

This is kind of going back to my expectations post. The expectations of those around me feel like they are crushing me. Which I’m ashamed to admit, is why I’ve stopped telling some of the closest people in my life what is going on in my life. Because I can’t take one more dramatic sigh, and then opinion of what I should be doing or what they expected me to do.

That is actually the last thing I need right now. What’s a girl got to do to get a little support around here huh?

I’ll be honest. I wrote this post about 3 weeks ago when I was particularly struggling with everyone’s opinions of me and am now getting the courage to post this. This post isn’t meant to be like a poor me, please pity me post. It was simply to get some thoughts off of my chest and it feels nice to talk (type?) it all out.

Thanks for listening (reading?) haha you know what I’m trying to say.

Have a great day.

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Finding inspiration when motivation is low

I have had a great summer, and now that Labor Day is past, it feels like summer is officially “over”.

This summer is the first summer since my 8th grade summer where I didn’t have anything going on. For four years in high school I had volleyball summer conditioning. After that, it was two summers of working and taking a summer class. However, I took this past summer as a total vacation. I didn’t work and I didn’t take a summer class.

And damn it I had a glorious ass summer. I faced no commitments and some days I could lay by the pool all day or watch Netflix if I wanted to.

Many looked at me and questioned, “Don’t you get bored? What do you do all day?” I was never bored though and I never struggled with what to do. I am a person who is very at peace with doing nothing and don’t feel the need to go, go, go. This was the best summer I have had probably all my life.

Alas though, with every up there is a down. Which is currently where I am now. Down.

Since my summer was filled with no motivation for really anything, I am now struggling to find motivation to be productive again in my life, knowing that I can’t keep this lackadaisical attitude with me.

So what’s a girl to do to get inspired again?

1. I got a job. I just started working at Starbucks, and I am pumped to start having an income again. I had enough money saved up so money isn’t really an issue, but it’s nice to know that I can start saving money again.

2. I started writing more. Whenever I have a lot on my mind, I like to channel it by journaling. I have tried to journal before, but realized I don’t like writing, because I had so many thoughts and hated how long it took for me to write them down. Now that I have discovered the magic of password protected Word documents, I have been typing my feelings like a mad woman. And it’s weirdly therapeutic to type fast haha.

3. I am planning for after my marathon. My goal after Chicago is to really focus on strength training, and I found a program that I want to do. Just thinking about strength and not cardio is really helping me mentally push through these last few weeks of marathon training.

4. Actually addressing my feelings. I may or may not be guilty of not addressing how I feel and pushing my emotions under the rug. I finally addressed how I’m feeling about school, work, exercise, everything. Anxious, stressed, excited, nervous, unsure, unsettled. For someone who likes to not talk or think about emotions, this has been beneficial to grasp that I am having these emotions which is helping me come to terms with things.

5. Dancing. Seriously I know this is cheesy, but it has made me happy in many circumstances. Just putting on music and twirling, spinning, and dancing makes me smile and feel less stressed.

Well I guess that’s all I have currently in my head. And by “that’s all” I basically mean a novel so thanks for listening. Hopefully this helps with anyone else who is lacking motivation or inspiration, and we start this week off on a positive note!

What do you do when you’re looking for inspiration or lacking motivation?

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Weekly Workouts {8/8/15–8/14/15}

Saturday: 16 mile marathon training run

Sunday: OFF

Monday: 5 mile run ~9:22 pace + hip exercises

Tuesday: leg tabatas —> single leg hops & single leg squats, skiiers, curtsy lunges w/ calf raise, reverse lunge to calf raise to squat, sumo squat w/ alternating leg raises

Wednesday: 5 mile run ~ 9:05 pace

Thursday: tennis with a friend

Friday: OFF

Have a great Saturday!